One of the first questions people ask me is whether what I do is coaching or therapy, and which of the two they need. It is a fair question, and getting the answer right matters, because months can disappear in the wrong room. So here is how I think about it, and how I help people work out where to begin.
The difference, in plain terms
Therapy and coaching overlap, and both, done well, mean someone giving you close, careful attention. But they point in different directions.
Therapy tends to look back. It works with your history, your wounds, and your mental health, and it is the right place for diagnosis, medication, trauma, depression, anxiety, and anything that needs clinical care. A therapist or psychiatrist is trained to treat those things. If that is what is going on for you, it is what you need, and nothing else is a substitute for it.
Coaching looks forward. We start with where you are now, where you want to get to, and what keeps getting in the way, and then we do something about it. It is practical, and it is active. Less about healing the past, more about building what comes next. I am a coach, not a therapist, and I will always be clear about which one you are getting.
Where each one fits for ADHD
With ADHD, the two often sit side by side.
The clinical side, getting assessed, looking at medication, treating the anxiety or low mood that so often travels with ADHD, belongs with a doctor, psychiatrist, or therapist. That is not my lane, and I will always point you towards it when it is what you need.
What coaching is built for is the daily reality of living with an ADHD brain. The follow-through that will not come. The systems that never stick. The time that slips away. The quiet shame that builds every time you let yourself down again. We work on how you run your days, and on the beliefs you have collected about yourself along the way. That is the part diagnosis and medication alone rarely reach, and it is where a lot of the day-to-day change happens.
How to tell which you need right now
A rough guide.
If you are struggling to function, feeling hopeless, not safe, or carrying trauma that still has its grip on you, start with a therapist or your doctor. That is not a lesser choice, and it is not a failure. It is the right care for what you are carrying, and it often makes everything else possible.
If you broadly know what you want your life to look like and cannot get yourself there, if the problem is follow-through and systems and the story you keep telling yourself, coaching is likely to help. Especially with ADHD, where so much of the struggle lives in the doing.
And if you have read this far and still cannot tell, that is normal. Working it out together is exactly what a first conversation is for.
It is often both
For a lot of people it is not one or the other. Therapy to heal and steady things, coaching to build and move forward. I work alongside therapists often, and some of my clients see both of us at the same time, each of us doing the part we are there to do. Nothing says you have to choose.
My promise to you
This is the part I care about most. I will always tell you the truth about whether I am the right person to help. If you come to me and what you really need is a therapist, I will say so, and I will help you find the right support. I would rather lose a client than take someone’s money for the wrong kind of help. You deserve to be in the right room.
Where to start
If you think coaching might be what you need, or you just want help working out which way to go, my free alignment quiz is a good first step, and a free 30-minute call is a warm, no-pressure place to talk it through. No pitch, no assumptions. And if therapy is what you need, I will tell you, and point you in the right direction.
FAQ
Is ADHD coaching the same as therapy?
No. Therapy tends to look back and treat your mental health, and it is the right place for diagnosis, medication and anything clinical. Coaching looks forward and works on how you live day to day. They do different jobs, and plenty of people benefit from both.
Can coaching help if I am not diagnosed?
Yes. A lot of the people I work with are self identified or still waiting on an assessment. Coaching works on the patterns you are living with, whether or not there is a formal diagnosis yet. If assessment is something you need, I will encourage you towards it.
Do I have to choose between the two?
Not at all. Therapy and coaching sit happily side by side, and plenty of people do both at once. If you are already seeing a therapist, coaching can work alongside that, not instead of it.
